TalkBack: Your big moves

4 Sep

In my last entry, I discussed the biggest moves I’ve made in my life.  So tell me…what sort of big moves have you made in yours?  Are they physical moves, from one location to another?  Are they professional?  Emotional ones?

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3 Responses to “TalkBack: Your big moves”

  1. Brandon Foreman September 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    Well, first and foremost, I am a not a big fan when it comes to big changes, no matter if they are positive or negative. I think one of the bigger moves (if not, my biggest move) is to move to Athens to primary pursue my education venture at Athens Tech. It was a big move because all of the prior stuff that happened to me. For one, I was at Tifton, GA for about a year, took classes at Abraham Baldwin Agriculture College. I didn’t do well over there, due to another of factors (most of them were my fault), and I got academically suspended for bad grades. Then I came back home and got a job that a hardware that I got failed from within a few days.

    So pretty much, I was emotionally broken because I didn’t think that I could anything right. My sister decided that I could pursue a more technical path and take classes at Athens Tech. So here I am… with additional help from my sister, I also landed a job at Kroger and I am working there today. It was a big move that helped me enormously because I feel like I have a life and now that I have an Associate’s Degree, I feel like I am capable of anything.

  2. Susie September 4, 2011 at 4:20 pm #

    I think for me one of the biggest and most recent moves I have made in my life, was to get help with my depression. I’ve lived the majority of my life with depression, so much so that I can’t really remember a time from before when I didn’t feel sad 95% of the time. It always felt like a weight on my shoulders, something pulling me down. The weight changed shapes from time to time: years of family issues, money issues, feeling like it was up to me to take care of my family and make things better for them, the feeling of failure when I couldn’t take care of them like I wanted to, relationship issues, everything really. It would all build up in me, till all I could see and feel was brokeness, the impossibleness of it all.

    I thought for a while that I was just being too negative, that nothing was ever as bad as it seems. After all, there is always someone worse off than you, right? Then I guess, I went through a time when I ignored it, denied it really. My logic was, “how can I be a solid, strong rock for anyone to lean on if I show weakness?” That was probably one the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. It pulled me down further. It drove me apart from my friends, my family, and the person I love more than any words could ever describe. The further I sank into my depression, the more the thoughts came: “what if I just wasn’t here any more? Who would care? Who would know? I don’t contribute anything to anyone’s life anyway, so what does it matter if I’m gone?”

    Eventually, the feelings I was having drove my partner and I apart. On came another wave of feeling worthless, weak, and more thoughts about suicide. Oddly, this might have been a blessing in disguise. My partner and I decided to try to work things out. We went to couple’s counseling. I did speak about my depression to our therapist, the first time I had REALLY talked about it to anyone. She suggested going to see a general practitioner and get on medication. I’ll admit, I felt a little weird about it. I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy or anything. I decided to go, though. I was heading down a very dark path in my head. I don’t think I had much time left.

    I began my medication at the end of March, I think it was anyway. I honestly feel like a new person now. I’m still me, just a me that isn’t walking around this world broken any more. I feel capable. I feel strong because I can let others lean on me and I can lean on them. I feel alive.

    In truth, seeing a doctor and starting medication probably saved my life. Depression is too big for anyone to handle alone. It isn’t a matter of changing your outlook or thinking more positively. Depression is a very real thing, as real as a weight literally sitting on your shoulder. If anyone reading this is depressed or knows someone that might be, I urge you: get help. There is so much being missed in your life if you are living on that dark path. I don’t mean to sound like a PSA, but it is the truth of things. Getting help can save a life.

    • Brandon Foreman September 4, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

      So you are struggling with depression too? That is an issue that I been dealing with recently. I only have a moderate depression but it’s been something that’s been eating me up slowly and slowly and slowly until I had to get help for it because life has been becoming too dark for me to face.

      Well, let’s just say that I know how to feel but I am a very quiet and secretive person so no one really knows about my silent struggle.

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